Questions and Answers

Which procedure?
                      trim bone back
                      Trim as little as possible. Just to where the bone is bleeding
How long will the surgery take in hours?
                      one hour ish
How long will we be in the hospital?
Recovery time?
                      three weeks ish
Probability of future surgery or success
                      pretty high unless you don’t want anything done

Dear Inner Thighs

Dear Inner Thighs,


We’re your eyes.

You know, the ones you use to inspect every millimeter of yourself
in mirrors and windows and even just when were cast down?
You’ve used us to find every stretchmark, cellulite dimple and soft spot.
I know it’s easy for you to train our gaze on yourself but we have a small request.

Can you not?

When you use us to obsess over yourself, you don’t let us see the things we’d rather look at.

We see meals filled with laughter,
a warm spot when your hands or hers are ice cubes,

We see a balancing act that keeps your butt from looking photoshopped onto your body,
a perfect resting place when you’re shaking and she finally takes a breath.

We see more perfection in your inches of skin than Monet’s lily pads.

So…Can you just not?
Not use us to see something that isn’t there?
It’s exhausting and taxing and to be quite honest,
not worth our time.

Your Eyes

Literacy Narative

I am from “read me grandma!” and grandpa’s deep soothing voice
I am from memorized bedtime stories, poems, and Rindercella
I am from “it’s not crick its creeeeek grandpa!” and “that’s a great p-word!”
I am from “sound it out” and “how do you think it’s spelled?”
I am from tree identification and watching tadpoles grow
From “The Birch Island Gazette” and Molly & The Mice

I am from sweet sticky peach juice running down my chin, and cool wet washcloths on hands before turning pages
I am from icy air conditioning against humidity hot cheeks in a store that smells like paper and yarn
I am from summer reading programs, and hot cement pool decks
I am from post cards and pen pals
From snail mail and thank you notes

I am from daydreams and imagined worlds
From treasure hunts through bookstore basements
I am from long grey pigtail French braids and purple Pilot V-5 notes tucked between pages

I am from badass female protagonists and lady knights
I am from escaping my own life to see the world through someone else’s eyes
I am from Tortall and Terrasen
From Prythian and Ravenclaw tower
I am from heavy eyelids and refusing to look at the clock
I am from “just one more chapter” and “I only have a few pages left”

I am from the steam whistle, always interrupting, and the back of the lecture hall pretending to take notes
I am from notes shoved under doors and pinned to bulletin boards
From “comb E’s”
I am from sick days drawing on blackboards and transparency coloring pages
I am from Leo the Late Bloomer and notecard libraries
I am from practicing my hand writing and the hunt for the perfect pen
I am from advanced readers copies and “signed by the author” bookmarks

I am from embarrassing stories of my own childhood told to me by friends in school to become teachers
I am from framed dust jackets

I am from abysmal math scores and 99th percentile vocabulary
From “the nines trick” and quiet reading during “timed tests”
I am from “my child is not a test score” and vacations in when there was no “school break”
I am from “planner meetings” and assignment notebooks
From story problems and “explain your answers”
I am from “some high school” and “Doctoral or post-graduate degree”
I am from “failing to meet potential” and rejection letters

I am from words flowing in ink across pages just to lessen the pressure in my mind of the why’s and why me’s
I am from “I’m a fuck up” and “you’re such a stupid girl”
I am from dropping out…again
I am from quiet strength and thick walls
From trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and a life changing diagnosis
I am from proving them wrong
I am from “what did you do with my granddaughter?!”